Monday, October 4, 2010

Waiting and Wrestling

We've been waiting now at #1 for a girl toddler since we got on the waiting list on April 22, 2010.  That's a little more than five months of knowing a phone call could come at any time.  That's a little more than five months of knowing that out of the 5 million orphans in Ethiopia, there is one girl out there that is waiting for a home, one girl that will be our little girl.  For now she sleeps in an orphanage.  For now she wakes in the morning without a mom or dad.  It is similar to being 39 weeks pregnant (not that I would know how that feels!) for over five months.  It is knowing that on our end everything is in place and ready, except for the final referral phone call. 

So as I think about us waiting for over five months, I also think about our girl who could be 5 years old.  I think about her waiting for five years for a family, not knowing if there will ever be one.  I also think of her waiting alone, without a mom or dad to support her.  As she watches other children and babies get matched with their families, does she wonder "who is coming for me, who loves me, will I be alone again tonight?" 

So our wait becomes two-fold.  Our own hearts are ready to be joined with our little girl.  That hurts and causes us to become impatient.  And we know that there is a little girl that is ready for a family.  We are waiting for her, she is waiting for us.  When will the referral come?  We know it will come in God's perfect timing, under His perfect control, to reveal His perfect Glory.  We again rest in Him. 

Our minds know the truth of these words, and yet our hearts sometimes struggle.  We wrestle with our own impatience and wanting the process to move at the pace that we best envision.  Our minds go through the endless pieces of our story that have yet to be unveiled to us.  We think through each of the details, trying to bring them to closure by simply processing them over and over.  In the end, we need God's help to allow us to see His purposes through this and to know that His plan will be for our good (and for Peaches' own good).  We are reminded that we need to continue in prayer for the process and for Peaches.  We need to cast all our anxieties on Him, because He cares for us.

And so we pray, and yet we wrestle.  We wrestle and we wait for God.


  1. Praying for you guys. I can't help but think of this simple song as I read this post:

    In His time, in His time.
    He makes all things beautiful, in His time.
    Lord, please show me every day,
    As You’re teaching me Your way,
    That You do just what You say,
    In Your time.

    In Your time, in Your time,
    You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
    Lord, my life to You I bring,
    May each song I have to sing
    Be to You a lovely thing,
    In Your time.

  2. I found this translation of Romans 8:28 in the Message the other day and when I read your post it instantly came to my mind again so I wanted to share it.

    "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

  3. Natalie / Angela -
    Thank you both for your kind words. It is great to be surrounded by people who are alongside us through this. Your words remind us once again that we need to be rooted in truth, not flesh. It's a fight of faith. Heb 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
    - Russ

  4. Praying for the aching, confused hearts of our dear friends. Praying for God to comfort you, and praying for you to find comfort in the fact that the Father of the Fatherless is parenting Peaches.

    Having been down this road multiple times before (, we can offer the good news that the pain of the wait melts away into joy, joy, JOY as you hold and cuddle and play with and teach and laugh with your new child. We are so ready to watch all seven of you mold Peaches into a Nordstrom through your love of and care for her!

    With MUCH love,

  5. Thinking about you guys as you wrestle and wait!!! I so remember being there!!! And just signed up to be an official follower of YOUR blog so I can't wait to watch the rest of your journey unfold! love, Andrea

  6. Denise - Thank you so much for the encouraging txt this morning! Perfect will always remind us of this time in our lives.

    Andrea - Thanks for your comment. We know you have been through so much with Isaac recently. God pours forth grace for each moment.

  7. I didn't know you guys were number 1 for a toddler (where have I been?) hard but exciting. Looking forward with you to the good news!