Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Pain and Joy - That is Adoption

"It is with great pain that you let her go, and it is with great joy that we receive her."

This is one of the lines from the letter that I am currently writing to Peaches' birth mom.  A letter that we will give her when we meet her on February 28th, 2011 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  This is a very difficult letter to write.  A letter in which we want to share all of our hearts' desires toward this little girl.  So, how can you encapsulate in a letter what you would want someone to tell you if they were going to take your 4 yr old child halfway across the world?  How can a letter express all that God has brought us through in the last year?  As we look at Peaches' picture, there is nothing that can hold us back from bringing her into our family and pouring our love upon her life.  We know that through a miracle she will become one of us, as though it is blood that his holding us together.  How can this be expressed in a letter to her birth mom who through some difficult circumstance had to relinquish her little girl?

And so, I write, and delete, and write, and change, and write, and read, and re-read, and write.....and pray that God would give the words to assure this birth mom that we love her little girl and are forever bonded with her through the miracle of adoption.

And there it is.  Pain and joy.  Our Peaches stands between the pain that her birth mom has experienced in the relinquishment and the joy that we will have when we hold her.  Peaches will experience both these emotions in an unrelenting, unimaginable way that neither we, nor her birth mom, will ever feel or understand in the same way she will.  Pain and joy - that is adoption.


  1. this could be a book...except it's way to personal to you, huh? that line in your letter is beautiful. as i try to somehow imagine the pain of a birth mom, i know that words like that would take none of it away, but would be like salve on my wounds.

  2. You could not have said this more perfectly!

  3. I hope you WILL write a book. God has gifted you with the perfect combination--being able to see the humor in situations while understanding and being able to articulate the spiritual ramifications of both God's adoption of us through Christ and earthly adoption.

    Just this morning Lissie commented that she has watched your passion for the gospel grow as you've been going through the adoption process. What an amzing work God is caring on in you through that beautiful little girl you call Peaches!

    We are so glad that we are part of the same church family. You two are truly a gift from the Giver of All Good Gifts (James 1:17)! We love you!

    With Much love,
    Mrs. Beaver